Coming Up

No blog post planned for Thursday. Writing and editing my last post ended up consuming a bunch of time and now I need to catch up on other things. Friday it's a new Top 5. This week it's Top 5 Favorite Foods!

The Greatest Anti-Global Warming Article You'll Ever Read (Maybe)

If one more cow farts, the bear and the ice cube die.

Let me start out by saying man-made global warming is one of the greatest scams ever pulled off. It's brilliant, really. It has set mankind out to destroy the most successful economic system in the world. It has set mankind out to hate all the things that make life better. It has actually set mankind out to destroy our own species.

I know, I know. Global warming has been covered ad-nauseum. It's boring. I get it. But it's the boring stuff that will kill you. This is the most serious issue in generations and effects the entire world. As soon as one side convinces you that it's boring and it's not worth fighting, they have won. 'An Inconvenient Truth' didn't have to be masterfully directed or interesting. All it had to do was throw the idea out there and then lull you to sleep.

Disclaimer: I don't dispute that global warming exists. If the temperature is collectively moving upwards, then you have global warming. What I question is the idea that man is causing it. I'm going to cover a lot here. Stay with me. If you believe in man-made global warming, that's fine, but keep an open mind.

An Anti-Man-Hugger's Manifesto

And so, there I was, trapped in one of the most awkward situations known to man - the pre-hug hesitation. Standing opposite me was an old acquaintance from college who I had not seen for several years. It was the perfect storm - I went for the handshake/Bro-Hug combo, he went for the Total Embrace. Hence, we found ourselves in the pre-hug hesitation, where two parties move in for different hugs, then each tries to quickly switch to the other person's hug. You know what I'm talking about. We've all been there.

Sounds Like Someone Has a Case of the Mondays

Yeah, I've got a case of the Mondays.

Had a new post in the works today, but all my momentum was quickly ruined by a pretty big personal setback. One of those days where you thought you'd broken past something only to find yourself in the same position you were in before. And this time, it looks like a long road back. I'll go into some detail after the jump.

Friday Top 5 - Favorite Beers

I gotta tell you, I really like beer. In saying that, I don't mean I like downing a 30-pack of Natty Ice on the weekends. Rather, I mean that I really like good, strong, dark beer. That said, here's my list:

You're Right, That Does Take Longer

The other day, my boss (who is extremely overweight) shared this with me:

"Ya know, the best piece of advice on dieting I ever got was to never eat anything that comes out of a drive-thru window. But I'll tell ya what, it sure takes a lot longer to walk inside and order your food."

I think he missed the point, but still, that little bit of knowledge really got my brain working.

Wednesday Update

Lots of changes coming to the blog, including migrating over here from Wordpress for a whole variety of reasons. Still trying to get comfortable with a layout, so a lot more changes are on the way.

Hoping to get a life or sports related article up tomorrow.

Remember Friday is Top 5 Favorite Beers!! Be ready.

Coming Up on Friday!

Keep an eye out on Friday for the first weekly Top 5 list!!

This week I'll be listing my Top 5 Favorite Beers!

If you've got some favorite beers you'd like to share, be ready to list yours in the comment section on Friday.

My Issue With Michele Bachmann

"I know! My husband (left) always laughs like that!"

No, my issue with Michele Bachmann has nothing to do with the fact that her first name has only one "l" and her last name has two "n"'s, although I do find that highly annoying. My issue with Michele Bachmann is that I'm afraid she'll turn into Barack Obama.

Wait, what?

That's right, Barack Obama. Here's why.

Dress For The Job You Want, Not The Job You Have

"Seriously, how awesome do I look right now!?!"

So as the rebels press onward in Libya and take/don't take Tripoli and capture/don't capture Gaddafi's sons and are winning/aren't winning, it's apparent that the media doesn't know what exactly is going on over there. Meanwhile, the fighting continues to ramp up in Syria, but details of said fights are almost non-existent. And while President Obama was eager to lob some explosives at Gaddafi right away, he's been less eager to do so with Syria's President Bashar al-Assad. Why?

Well, as it turns out, the reasoning is quite simple: al-Assad doesn't look like the crazy dictator that Muammar Gaddafi does. Gaddafi comes across as a wanna-be celebrity dictator with his designer shades and his elaborate robes. If you didn't know any better, you would think al-Assad was heading to a job interview. With a clean-cut look and a nice suit, the only knock on him is his freakishly long neck (seriously, look at that thing). While his time may come, for now his comparatively normal looks have kept him alive.

President Bashar al-Assad

Of course, this is a crazy theory, right? Right? Well, it's happened before. Let's take a quick look at history.

Not long ago, the U.S. was faced with a similar quandary - should we take out Iraq or Iran? Both were big on threats and neither were strangers to UN sanctions. Both nations were led by crazy, cruel dictators (or at least quasi-dictators) and were rumored to have weapons of mass destruction. When it was all said and done, who did the U.S. end up attacking?

Who are you gonna bomb, the guy with the charming smile or the homeless guy on the right?

You got it, the crazy looking one.

I guess the lesson for all you aspiring dictators out there is this: Don't dress the part. If you look like a crazy dictator, you'll get bombed like a crazy dictator. A nice suit and some attention to grooming will go a long ways toward not getting blown up.

The Saga Begins...

Welcome to Things Doug Thinks! I am, of course, The Doug. What you will read hear is, quite literally, the things that I think about.

I'm not exactly sure where this site is headed, even though it's completely up to me. I want to cover all of my interests (which many people share) like sports, politics, pop-culture, and musings about everyday life. If something comes up in the news, I'll rant about it. I'm also going to try to mix it up a little bit and have some Top 5 lists and some other content that won't be classified as a "Dougalogue."

Why start writing? Gee, I don't know. For starters, I like to write. It's always come quite naturally to me and I think I not only have good opinions, but also a witty way of expressing them. I also need a place to vent, a place to express myself. A place where I can put something in writing and hope that maybe someone will stumble across it and learn something new or get a much needed laugh.

I'll have a Dougalogue coming up soon. There's still a lot of work to do in setting up the site and getting all set up on Twitter and Facebook. There will be quite a few changes to the site in the coming days and, hopefully, lots of content.

That's all for now.

To be continued...