Confessions of a Wannabe Libertarian

Thomas Jefferson - An original libertarian

Yes, I admit it: I desperately want to be a libertarian. Not in the same way that I want to be a professional basketball player. I have neither the requisite athleticism nor the dedication to be a professional athlete of any sort. A libertarian, though, I could definitely be.

Sometimes I even dress up like a libertarian and walk around and talk to random strangers like a libertarian. I revel in the uncomfortable, squirmy demeanor they take on when they realize that it's impossible to successfully argue against me. I'll calmly take out my pocket-size constitution, point out the folly of their belief and then laugh hysterically as they deal with a world that has just been turned upside down. Yes, I desperately want to be a libertarian.

Have no doubt, I'm definitely a conservative. I don't like to associate too much with the "Republican" label, either. I've even been known at times to claim that, "I'm sort of a libertarian." I fail to mention that I'm also a liar. I, dear reader, am no libertarian.

Artist's rendition of one of the first libertarian assemblies

I have the utmost respect for the libertarian movement. I'll be the first to admit that if everyone was a libertarian, no less than 75% of the problems we face in our country and even on earth would be instantly solved. There would be fewer regulations and less government because, at the end of the day, everyone would be held responsible for themselves. People would tend to leave each other alone and focus on their own lives. Business would see unprecedented levels of success and profit which would translate directly to optimal employment levels. A smaller, more efficient government would require only a fraction of the taxes we currently pay. I can get on board with all of that. My hang-up with libertarianism comes elsewhere.

The biggest reason why I can't call myself a libertarian is because I can't separate morality from politics. I hate when people say "I'm a very religious person" or "I'm a very spiritual person" because that tends to mean very little. Let's just say I'm way into my faith. How way? Way way. And it's because of that faith that I can't come to grips with leaving morality out of my political beliefs.

Let's look at an example of what I'm talking about. Prostitution seems like a logical starting point. Your average libertarian likely supports prostitution (or at least they should). According to the their beliefs (also known as the Constitution of the United States of America), prostitution should be legal because a.) Someone else being a prostitute doesn't infringe on my rights and b.) A person's body is their own property and the government has no right to tell them what they can or can't do with it. As much as it pains me to say it, I really can't argue with that from a constitutional perspective. As usual, the libertarians are right. This is where I start to get uncomfortable and squirmy. So if I can't give a constitutional reason for prostitution being illegal, why do I still believe that it should be?

When a constitutional right meets a moral wrong

Because it's wrong. From almost any moral perspective, prostitution is a wrong, immoral act. But, of course, that doesn't mean that people won't do it. It's difficult to explain, but there's something deep down inside of me (and most Americans, for that matter) that can't stomach the idea of legalizing something like prostitution. It's the same issue with drugs. Yes, a world of legalized drugs would probably result in fewer killings between rival drug dealers and safer production of the drugs. Mankind, unfortunately, has a default nature that gravitates towards the immoral and the wrong.

I'll gladly tell you that you can't legislate morality. It never has worked and it never will. It's something that has to come internally. At the same time, putting legislation in place that discourages immorality provides a statement regarding what this country believes and what we tolerate. It makes it clear that, regardless of what you choose to do, there is still right and wrong in this world.

Making something like prostitution or drugs illegal is a small deterrent at best. Most people will continue engaging in these activities regardless of its legal status. It drives me crazy that I can't come up with a constitutional objection to these types of issues. Our rights in this country are outlined in the Constitution and I'm usually the first one to tear into a politician for supporting legislation that's unconstitutional. But on some of these issues, I can't help but go with my gut instinct rather than the Constitution. I'm a walking, talking contradiction.

In a perfect world, yes. In this world? No.

I often hear Greg Gutfeld mention "Libertarian Island" while co-hosting on The Five on Fox News. It's an imaginary place where he wishes he could live with Ron Paul and all the other libertarians. I feel like that describes my view of libertarianism at the moment - a utopian idea. In theory, it's perfect. I'd love to live on Libertarian Island. Unfortunately, the island we currently live on has a bunch of crazies on it, rendering libertarianism useless.

Maybe someday I'll become a libertarian. I've heard it said that you become a conservative by hanging out with liberals and you become a libertarian by hanging out with conservatives. I'm not sure if that will happen. Maybe I'm missing something and I can somehow come to grips with the separation of morality and politics later on in life. Until then, I'll dream of Libertarian Island and hang my head in shame as I mutter, "I'm sort of a libertarian." After all, repeating a lie over and over eventually makes it true, right?

Right?