They Never Even Gave Him a Chance

Smile while you can, Brett.

Brett Pill started off his Major League baseball career with a bang, homering in his first at-bat on Tuesday and then homering again on Wednesday. The big first baseman's career appeared to be off to a bright start until ESPN took it upon themselves to curse him. Their recap of today's Giants-Padres game included this little gem:

"Pill joined John Bowker as the only two players in franchise history to homer in their first two major league games."

Any baseball fan understands that a fast start doesn't mean a player is going to have a great career. But invoking the name of John Bowker? That's just cruel. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. You didn't hear the news stations comparing bin Laden's early career to John Bowker. You don't hear anti-Biebers saying "Justin Bieber's career path trajectory looks like a young John Bowker!" No, your average American is above that.

I feel bad for Brett Pill. At the very least, he had good nickname potential. "Pill the Thrill," "The Pill Pusher," "The Pill Popper" - the possibilities were endless. Somehow, the baseball gods deemed it right that he should never even get a chance.

I'll say this, Brett Pill: it was fun while it lasted.